Divide and conquer.
If, like me, you are fortunate enough to have a sibling or other close family members, Ms. Whitehead suggests dividing the caregiving tasks. This could mean that one person focuses on finances while another handles the medical aspects.
Stay connected.
It’s hard enough keeping track of our own schedules, let alone managing that of someone who requires regular medical attention and lives in another location. At the very least, this involves two people and two different schedules, but if others — like partners, siblings or close friends — also play roles in the caregiving, coordinating schedules is even more essential. This ensures that everyone attends the appointments they’re supposed to, bills are paid on time, and everyone is picked up from the airport when necessary.
Shared Google calendars are one way to make sure everyone is on the same page. There are also a number of apps that help you coordinate with your loved one and other caregivers, like CareZone, which helps users keep track of medications, medical appointments and insurance information, and CaringBridge, which facilitates schedules and communication between multiple caregivers.
Ask for help when you need it.
Part of self-care is knowing when you’ve taken on too much and should ask for help, Dr. Fried says. This can involve everything from logistical support, like asking a neighbor to check in on your loved one, to social support for yourself, he adds.
Similarly, Ms. Whitehead suggests utilizing some of the many professionals in the community who can help support and guide you. “Having a safe space to share your feelings of resentment, guilt or exhaustion and learn coping strategies that work for your situation can make all the difference,” she notes. There are also organizations, like Caring from a Distance, that provide support and resources.
The app Lotsa Helping Hands helps users create a support community, organizing everything from rides to appointments, to meals and errands, to letting people know the best time to call on the phone.
Be realistic about your other responsibilities.
Part of asking for help may also involve speaking with your employer about needing time off from work. If at all possible, be honest with your boss about why you need to adjust your schedule, and realistic about the amount of time you make need to take off. This is a situation where the ability to work remotely would be helpful, but even then, it can be difficult to keep up with conference calls and emails alongside doctors’ appointments. Make sure you discuss clear expectations of any arrangement with your boss to ensure that you are both on the same page and nothing falls through the cracks.
Source : Nytimes
